Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: Explosive Gas From Ford
Thanks mostly to the late Evel Knievel, daredevils keep raising the bar on outlandish stunts. But have any of these 21st century whippersnappers tried participating in a demolition with a Ford Pinto? I didn’t think so! Socko to the rescue!
First, I really don’t have to point out the irony that REEKS from this spot! A pinto, in a demolition derby? Are you insane?!? But have no fear, Socko’s here! And he even speaks with that creepy Jon Lovitz voice!
Socko first points out the excellent rack-and-pinion steering Pinto has much like it’s foreign counterparts’ cars. I guess that’s good since you certainly don’t want to hit anything while lugging the legendary explosive gas tank around with you. The Pinto, we also learn, has a “snappier” four-speed transmission which to me is like selecting how fiery you want your explosion. First speed is a sparkler, second speed a cherry bomb, third speed a mortar, and fourth speed is a Michael Jackson commercial.
The most important aspect of the Pinto, the brakes, almost gets shoved under the table as Socko merely mentions the brakes are “oversized” before he spins circles while talking about the turning radius. Socko tries to convince us the Pinto’s turning radius is tighter than the foreign competition, but he does this while a mid-1950’s Cheverolet rear-ends another car. I’m sure the folks at Ford consider Chevy a “foreign car” but you’re not pulling the wool over our eyes fellas!
While all of this is going on, you can see our nervous reporter is prepared to toss his cookies (perhaps because he has read the Ford Pinto Memo). When asked if there’s anything else Socko has to say about the Pinto, Socko proudly tells us the Pinto is easy to repair with inexpensive parts like bumpers and fenders. More than 35 years later, it’s safe to say if the ONLY thing you had to repair was a dinged up bumper or scratched fender you should go play the lottery because luck is clearly on your side.
We close with our daring young Socko weaving through the other cars while an announcer declares the Pinto is “hard to hit, easy to fit”. While the Pinto may have been hard to hit, when it did get hit it was unfortunately easy for your family to fit you in the proper-sized casket. With all of the talk about safety as opposed to fuel efficiency or price (two key selling factors by 1970), you have to wonder if Ford really did know something was wrong with this car before they sold it.
Sadly, it appears old Socko and his poor passenger finally bit the dust when they crashed into something at the end of the commercial. Much like the Pinto, Socko crashed and burned into the halls of Classic(ally Bad) TV commercials.
