Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: Flying the Too Friendly Skies with United
If you were born after, oh… 1988, you probably don’t remember when flying on a commercial airline was actually fun! You got real food, you had some leg room in coach, and you weren’t treated like a head of cattle. Let’s head back to those halcyon days of air travel with the ultra-happy stewardess Nancy in this 1982 ad for United Air Lines.
Nowadays commercial airlines fall in to two categories: the luxurious airlines typically aimed at business people (United, Virgin Atlantic, Delta) and discount carriers (Southwest, Spirit, Jet Blue). Twenty-six years ago most airlines were luxurious and affordable, thanks mostly to deregulation in 1978. Everyone was fighting for every passenger, and one way to entice a traveller to your airline was to promote your high-quality service. And that’s where our beloved Nancy comes in.
We’re supposed to drop a few hundred dollars on tickets on United after watching this heart-wrenching first day experience for the newest stewardess. And I have to admit it’s somewhat heart-warming and comical to see Nancy nervously practicing her lines as I’m sure a few rookie flight attendants (as we have to call them nowadays) do on thier first flight.
If you’ve flown on a commercial airline within the past 20 years, you have noticed that most flight attendants (with very few exceptions) are miserable. With that in mind someone who is cheery, friendly, and going out of his or her way to make your flight enjoyable would be greatly appreciated today. But honestly if I had a singing, dancing, and gallavanting Nancy as my flight attendant I’d have to be carried off the plane by U.S. Marshals because I’d be flat out batty after that flight.
I guess the good thing is airlines don’t serve medium steaks or medium hot dogs any more so Nancy doesn’t have a chance to make her bad jokes. I can’t imagine she can doll up a bag of peanuts and five ounces of soda for anything more than what it is– a mere snack. The same goes for champagne (in coach?) and extra ice for your drink. First of all, does anybody actually need more ice in their in-flight drinks? Sometimes you get more ice than drink in your cup, and if you really want more ice most airlines will charge $4 a cube to chill your carbonated beverage. At least we know by the end of the spot Nancy can indeed assist us in getting that ONE stinking ice cube into our nearly empty cup. She just needs to work on her dismount because I think she gloats a bit in the aisle, possibly holding up the line to the bathroom due to medium-cooked hot dogs.
And as charming (albeit annoying) as Nancy is, I have to point out she’s completely oblivious to her co-workers despite the fact she faces them TWICE during her song and dance. Not being seen by your voyeuristic co-workers is one thing, but is Nancy blind to the guy having a heart attack in row eight? What about the poor fool in front of her getting coffee spilled in his lap because she’s in flight attendant la-la land?
In just 60 seconds we’ve seen how the airline industry has changed an awful lot since 1982. Not having the show tune-happy Nancy on my flight, probably a good thing. Having a grumpy guy in a suit name “Rory” passing out pretzels, not exactly an improvement either. Where’s Barbara Billingsley (a.k.a. June Cleaver) when you need her? She can hand out pretzels with a smile and speak jive!
