Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: What Will it Take for Me to get YOU in to this Car?!?
Used car ads from local car lots often offer up some of the best in classic(ally bad) television. So with that in mind, let’s head down to Miami in the late 1960’s and check out some of these babies!
Before I discuss this ad, let me go back and talk it over with my manager…
No year was provided with this commercial, but judging by the years of these cars and the prices I would place this spot as being filmed in 1967 or 1968 (perhaps even 1969). One thing I know for sure though is our pitch man “Jumpin’” Jack O’Brien reeks of the fast-talking and slick selling of one Sam Beauregarde from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. Mr. O’Brien gives us two clues early on that Municipal Auto Sales may not exactly be the “leader in the automobile business in South Florida” like he claims.
First, we notice the man has no common sense or math skills when he says the dealership is open “all day, every day” from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. While those hours are a little longer than most car dealers, it only amounts to 14 hours a day. Last I checked there are 24 hours in a day, so MAS needs to keep their doors open 10 more hours a day to be truly open all day every day. We then see how cheap of an operation this is when the camera zooms out before the showcase of crappy cars is unveiled. My friend, beware of the car dealer whose sign is two sheets of plywood nailed together! Are you telling me they couldn’t have bought a whole banner or, God forbid, actually painted their info on the side of the building? And what gives with the giant shadow on Mr. O’Brien at the start of the spot? If you’re going to wear a three-piece suit in the hot Florida sun, man up tough guy!
Then we have the parade of old rust buckets rolling in and at first it sounds like MAS has a good deal on a ‘64 Impala with all the bells and whistles not standard on cars then. But when he tries to emphasize his point on how great this car is, he smacks the hell out of it before it drives off (very reminiscent for me of Art Palmi Dodge City commercials here in the Tampa Bay area in the mid 1980’s where the spokesperson would practically punch cars to tell you how good they were). I’ve replayed the spot several times after O’Brien smacks the car and I swear he left a small dent in the body. Then again in the 60s most cars were made with three tons of pure Pittsburgh steel so it would take more than a greasy salesman slapping a car to dent it.
Then one of the most humorous things happens when our next car, a ‘63 Ford Galaxie, pulls up. First of all, the brakes are so shoddy in this garbage can the driver pulls out of the frame. Although, it turns out that may be a good thing since the car right behind nearly rear-ends the Galaxie because its brakes are even worse! O’Brien smacks the car, screams the price, then shows us how bad of a dealership this place is– there’s 100 Fords on the lot!
Then rolls in the Griswold family truckster, a 1960 Ford Ranchwagon, that lurches and slides into position with the rear window in its up position. Whether it was like that because the dealership wanted to show it off, or because it was broken (I’m betting on the latter of the two), is yet to be answered. We can then confirm that this vehicle truly is a piece of crap when O’Brien alerts us of its “low, low” price of $695. Thus you have to wonder if this is one of the three cars featured on this 60-second commercial, what do the remaining 100+ cars on the lot look like?
Then O’Brien realizes he only has six seconds to tag the spot, so like an auctioneer he rambles through the most important part of the spot– the address. Much like our good buddy Dick Reese, he can’t get this right an stumbles on the word “Northwest” preferring to go with “Nothweth”.
To cap off this full minute of pure cheese, we get the wedding DJ send off as O’Brien pukes, “Thank You!”
While writing this I’ve learned a couple of amazing things, outside of the fact I would have never bought a car from MAS. First, like many local car sales men, O’Brien is still a legend in the Miami area. I even found this sort of fan page online. O’Brien is still alive and has apparently survived four heart attacks as he now resides in Tennessee in his early 80s. When he wasn’t selling cars, he was the host of a kid’s TV show on what is now WPLG channel 10. As for MAS, it’s not around any more but the lot was across the street from the original Burger King. I’m assuming the bad commercial bug was contagious in Miami.
January 28th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Well, it takes a lot of stones to do that commercial. Although the word doesn’t quite have the same meaning today, my father would have called this guy a true Huckster.
Do you think anyone now-a-days could hammer on a car without leaving a dent? Seeing him do that gives me an uneasy feeling. Me being a classic car guy and all, seeing them more as treasures than slap `em through the sales line merchandise.
Was that backdrop a sea container or were they shooting that at the edge of an underpass where the corregated sheet metal supports the dirt?