Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: Godawful GAP
If you thought GAP clothing stores made horrible commercials nowadays, take a look at this snoozer from 1984!
Suffice to say one needs a 5-hour energy boost to sit through that crap again. What the hell was that? And who gave the green light for that spot?
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GAP: So what do you have for our newest commercial?
Ad agency: Two twenty-somethings in a cluttered apartment feeding a dog.
GAP: Brilliant! We want it run 14 times an hour on every TV station in America!
Really now, who takes a few copy points or a general idea on what a client wants and churns out this garbage? First, the aforementioned setting of the commercial. Obviously the GAP is trying to portray this romantic couple as the “average customer”, someone who is between the age of 18 and 34 and doesn’t want to dress like their parents. Since 25 is smack dab in the middle of the demo, and I know she’s 25 because she goes out of her way to tell me, the cluttered apartment is supposed to represent the “average” 25-year-old in America in 1984. I guess the GAP didn’t get the memo that there should be an Atari or a Commodore 64 in the background surrounded by discarded cans of spray cheese and bags of Combos.
The spot just starts out with the mother of all ironies; our lovely (presumably 25-year-old) lady tells us she knows how to dress and doesn’t need anyone telling her how to do it. So she finds it appropriate to star in a commercial telling me how to dress myself? Her doofus boyfriend then delivers one of the most bizarre lines in the history of advertising; “We can both get the clothes we feel… (stiff, uncomfortable pause)… comfortable about.” Comfortable about? Are you telling me the clothes you buy elsewhere are uncomfortable? Are you purchasing clothes made of cactus thorns or asbestos? I guess I shouldn’t get too upset at this line simply because the actor delivering it probably isn’t acting any more… and technically never was because his performance is awful here.
Then comes irony, act II: “I don’t need to follow every fashion trend that comes along, or pay a fortune for a label.” HELLO!!! YOU’RE IN A COMMERCIAL FOR THE GAP! THAT’S HOW THEY’VE STAYED OPEN FOR ALL THESE YEARS! The final seven or eight seconds is pure filler… sit around, keep feeding the dog, imply your girlfriend is as close to 34-years-old as she appears to be. Great stuff… I can’t see why the GAP needed ads for swinging khakis after producing this gem.
But hey, neither of these two dopes need to be told what to wear and I guess you shouldn’t either. That’s why I’ve never shopped at the GAP in the first place!
