Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: A Low-Budget Job in Winnipeg!
So today I’m having all sorts of problems with my ‘99 Ford Ranger XLT, and in honor of that I decided to take out my anger by dredging up som classic(ally bad) TV spots about Fords. The path took my somewhere unexpected though as Ford is the indirect target of my disdain, and Stadium Ford of Winnipeg, Manitoba, is the direct target for a truly awful commercial.
This “commercial” was done in 1983, although it should have been done in 1963 because clearly this was created by someone who spent way too much time with a Kodak slide carousel. As a producer of commercials, I know every now and then you get that client who just doesn’t have a ton of money to spend so you get by with a low-budget, low-effort commercial. But this… this is just terrible.
It’s bad enough that this is basically a bad slide show, but the fact one of the slides was put in BACKWARDS (the fourth slide after the opening logo) just makes it even worse. After the sixth or seventh shot, the slides just seem to be random shots thrown in. And what’s the deal with the writing? “Stadium’s body shop is simply the best!” Well… geez… thanks… I’m sold! Our nicotine-induced voiceover guy even throws in an “as seen on TV” line; “BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!”
It turns out in 1983, Stadium Ford not only sold cars via a few bad snapshots, they also sold them with the new and exciting world of propane power! It’s tough today to feel bad for automobile drivers 25 years ago who were paying then-record prices for gasoline, especially as we still hover around $3 a gallon nowadays, but propane? I know Canada was especially feeling the pinch at the pump then, but propane is for home heating or for grilling up hamburgers… not for driving your car around town.
WAIT! What’s this I see? Why, it’s a moving picture! Somebody ponied up some money for VIDEO with their commercial and not just a slideshow of boring pictures! Oh wait, whomever ponied up the money only paid about $6.50 for this footage of a guy half-assing a kick of a football off a tee. If Stadium Ford really was “just a punt” away from the north endzone of the Winnipeg football stadium, the guy with the tube socks at the end of the spot didn’t get across the street with his measly squib kick.
The one redeeming part of the commercial is the music. Straight from the archives of “Starsky & Hutch”, or maybe “Debbie Does Dallas”, at least you know you can get your funk on while getting those propane tanks loaded into the back of your K-Car.
It looks like Stadium Ford is long gone, replaced by a Toys R’ Us. It’s a shame, because I really thought 8 X 10’s of a car dealership showing the Randy Bachman-wannabees that worked there would make that place a Winnipeg landmark!
