Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: Chewing Gum… It Moves You!
Ahhhh… the 80’s were a promising time just full of energy and potential after the dreary 70’s. So what do you say we practice some carpe diem with the power of chewing gum!
The reason why I selected this commercial to blog on is because the company I work for, Affari Edge, just moved to a new building (hence why no new videos have been posted here in almost two weeks). I first searched for videos involving moving like we did, hauling thousands of pounds of crap from location to another. With no luck I found this gem from 1981 advertising Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit. Now this commercial campaign actually was not bad, with a catchy jingle that I recall was used for several years in the 80’s. But I have to put it on this website not just because of the “moving” connection, but also because it’s one of those commercials that simply featured unlikely expectations for the product.
I mean, think about this… have you ever chewed a stick of gum and just decided to go water skiing? Other than caffeine-infused energy gum, has a stick of gum just lifted you up off the couch and thrust you into a round of extreme sports? I didn’t think so! Chances are you’re chewing gum because you’re bored or desperately trying to quit smoking.
Yet here is our fun-loving group of “kids”, all people around 32 or 33 dressed up and acting like they’re 17, parading to the big lake for an afternoon of water skiing. How fun! And it’s all because they were sitting around chewing gum! Then we have the overt sexual appeal of gum. Well actually it’s the overt sexual appeal of boobs, for both men and women. Who knew that chewing Juicy Fruit would give you a giant rack or rock-hard abs like our “kids” show off in slow motion.
Then we have one of our beach bums shoving a piece of gum in his mouth before embarking on a slew of water skiing tricks not seen since the last water ski show at Cypress Gardens. To be honest with you, I don’t know if I’d want to be chewing gum while water skiing. Isn’t that dangerous? Can’t that get stuck in your throat while your flying through the air in the greatest of ease? After choking on your gum, you’d be dragged around the water like Bernie in “Weekend at Bernie’s”. Is that fun for you if you’re the corpse?
Oh, back to the sexual action again as we see a beautiful blond shoving a stick of gum in her mouth, but far more sensually than our beach bum did because this time it’s in slow motion. I’m wondering how many takes that took. I can only imagine the director screaming, “CUT!” over and over again because the gum didn’t arc just right. And as if the name “juicy fruit” didn’t imply a sexual situation in the first place, we’re greeted with a shot of one of our water skiing pal’s crotch as he glides over us. Gee thanks… give me some more of that gum.
As I continue to ice up my sore back and bloody toes from hauling around refrigerators, work tables, and boxes of stuff I didn’t know we had in our office, I’m wondering how much easier our work would have been had we been chewing on some Juicy Fruit. We would just be tossing those heavy appliances and tables around like they were nothing. And if I slowly took my shirt off I would suddenly have a cut body instead of cuts on my beer gut.
Or maybe we should just hire professional movers to do it next time, and I can chew some gum while watching them do the heavy lifting.
