Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: Goodness, Gracious, the Great Garloo!
With the space race in full swing and science-fiction all the rage in 1961, it’s only appropriate that kids would be thrilled by a giant alien kinda-thingy as a toy. It’s not The Great Gazoo… it’s The Great Garloo!
At first it almost seems like you’re watching an old sci-fi movie as alot of the tricks of the trade are being used in this commercial: scale models with creatures only two-feet tall causing all of the havoc. Then we see the ultimately scary face of the Great Garloo! Upon further review I think the look of the Great Garloo was based on childhood photos of New Jersey Devils general manager Lou Lamoriello, but I digress…
After watching some unrealistic situations where a kid could use Garloo, we go to the realistic situations at home. Or are they realistic? Would most little boys use the battery-powered (hard-wired!) controls to do things like pick up his little sister’s doll? I mean Garloo was just lifting up railroad bridges and knocking down power lines. Now he’s babysitting? What?!? Most boys might pick up the doll, only to place it into the oven or an open flame.
After doing that, most little sisters wouldn’t kiss Garloo. Those who would, I can only imagine the type of husband they ended up marrying (perhaps the next “Mrs. Lamoriello”?). And what… umm… partner will the little boy end up with after sipping tea with his little sister? Somehow Garloo doesn’t seem so vicious when he’s picking up dolls and tea cups.
Ahh! But back to the testosterone! DESTRUCTION! No railroad bridge is safe from the Great Garloo! And no bank account is either! Could you believe this thing went for $17.98 in 1961? Minimum wage was $1.15 an hour. That means it took 15.63 hours (pre-tax) to buy this friggin’ thing! That’s about two days of work all so little Jimmy can pick up his sister’s tea cups. With the average income at $5,315 then, the average worker brought a home a check of just over $204 every week.
So kids… the only way you can control the Great Garloo is if your mommy and daddy are rich! And the situation is the same almost 50 years later as Garloo sells for $300 on E-Bay. So you can control the Great Garloo as long as you don’t mind living without the Internet or phone for a couple of months. It’s so maddening, it makes me want to destroy a railroad bridge!
