Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: Get All Sexed Up With Diet Pepsi
I know a lot has changed since 1984. And as this commercial will show you, a WHOLE LOT has changed in how diet soft drinks taste and how people get hooked up.
Hmmm… maybe I was doing it all wrong back in my dating life before I got married. Back then I would talk to women on the phone or online, meet them for dinner or drinks somewhere, and if things went well over the next few weeks we would become “an item”. I would use my charm, my knowledge, my sense of humor, my good looks, and a bunch of money on dinner, drinks, movies, etc., all for a piece of tail… err… a relationship. Who knew I could have just bought a 50-cent can of Diet Pepsi and made my life so much easier?
Who really picks up somebody because of a tasty can of diet soda? I’ve heard all sorts of interesting stories as to how people have met one another, but a can of soda? And it’s not like these two lovebirds just bumped into each other and spilled their soda on each other. This chick is getting all hot and bothered over this lunkhead drinking a Diet Pepsi. If that was how it was in real life, a 20-ounce bottle would have her calling out from work the next day. A 6-pack would induce a coma. A 12-pack would make Peter North wonder how you do it.
Just the idea of a woman fawning over a man because he drinks Diet Pepsi is crazy enough, but do you remember how crappy diet soda tasted back in 1984? Diet colas are fairly decent tasting now, and that’s the only soda I’ll ever drink if I HAVE to have a soda. All those carbs and corn syrup globs just aren’t preferable to my taste any more. But back in the 80’s I’d rather have drunk a 6-pack of sugary sweet regular Pepsi over that diet crap any day. Mostly because of NutraSweet, the artificial sugar of its day, tasted like pencil shavings. Unlike NutraSweet though, pencil shavings have yet to be linked to cancer so go ahead and carve up a number-two Ticonderoga over my soft drink, garcon!
So kids, you don’t need to stick a can of Diet Pepsi down your pants to impress the girls. You just have to walk around with one in your hand. They’ll jump on you so quickly, you’ll have to make sure you’ve brought the proper protection.
