Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: Zowee! It’s King Zor!
Toys of the 1950s and 1960s were so much simpler then toys of today, and that’s good because those old toys really cultivated the creativity of a young mind during play time. Even with these memories of great toys of the past, this toy is a bit on the cheap and silly side.
The first 15 seconds of the spot is your typical 1960s toy commercial– a clunky battery-powered toy rolls into the screen amidst a mist of dry ice. Like most toys of the time, the key to beating the nasty monster was to shoot it. Is there any wonder why America has so many NRA members? But I digress…
The commercial takes a turn for the odd here when we find out you don’t just shoot at King Zor, you shoot for his tail. Now scientifically this makes no sense. Sure, an attack on the tail will hurt King Zor but it will hardly kill him. Shouldn’t you take him out at the head? What about the neck? Or how about deflating those tires he cruises in on? Shooting him in that giant round target on his tail just makes it look like a bad carnival game. Batteries may not be included, but I have a hunch the cuddly teddy bear you win for hitting the target with three pitches doesn’t come included either. Then things get even wackier…
When you hit the tail target, King Zur launches a marble from his secret marble magazine in his back! Who says God doesn’t make all creatures with a purpose? Now shooting the tail target makes even less sense since you won’t hurt him much and you’ll probably lose an eye from that marble he’s chucking at you. Now King Zur apparently is more than a clunky mechanical dinosaur, he’s a fighting machine! How brilliant! Or is he?
King Zur is smart enough to shoot marbles at his opponents, but avoiding that giant mountain? King Zur has to stick out his tongue, think about it for a few seconds, then reverse course? So much for intelligent design. I mean, WHAT THE HELL ARE HIS EYES FOR? The announcer is right, there’s never been a fighting dinosaur like King Zor. That is unless someone at Jurassic Park mixed up the dinosaur and Mr. Magoo DNA in a blender.
Not surprisingly, the kitschy King Zor lives on in goofy t-shirts and toy collector clubs. A fairly good-conditioned one, with the original box, sells for $1,500 on E-Bay! This only shows the fondness we have for vintage toys… and the need to pay way too much money for a marble-shooting dim-witted dinosaur. Even if there hasn’t been a dinosaur like him before or after 1962!
